Top Tips for Low-Demand Family Celebrations
Dec 19, 2023Neurodivergent Families: Top Tips for Low-Demand Family Celebrations
Guest Blogger | Helen Edgar
Family celebrations and holiday events can be a stressful time for anyone, but when your family includes neurodivergent individuals, the challenges can be unique and sometimes overwhelming. This blog post is designed to offer practical advice and suggestions on navigating these events with ease and enjoyment while respecting the needs and boundaries of your neurodivergent loved ones.
This blog post was inspired by a webinar delivered in The PDA Space Portal by Scott Neilson - Autistically Scott and Laura Hellfield Neurodivergent Nurse Consultant. They discussed the concept of low-demand celebrations and offered a wealth of tips and ideas for making the festive season smoother and less stressful for everyone.
This webinar is available to watch here in The PDA Space and includes this FREE ebook.
A Low-Demand Festive Season: Making Celebrations Work For You
The festive season can come with a long list of demands and expectations. It can also feel like there is an underlying expectation that we ‘should’ be keeping up with everyone else and all the various ‘traditions’ that come with events such as Christmas, Diwali, Hanukah, Birthdays, New Year or any other celebration! This can be stressful and exhausting as a parent and maybe even more so if your children are autistic / ADHD/ PDA or any other neurodivergence. Instead, focus on what works best for your family and loved ones, and put your own family first.
Creating New Traditions: Shaping Celebrations to Suit Your Family
Traditions can often be a source of comfort and joy, but they can also be a source of stress, especially for our children. It's important to remember that traditions can be flexible and adaptable. If a particular tradition doesn't work for your family, consider creating a new one that does! This can mean instead of saving up gifts to open on a specific day, you could open them as you receive them or in the days leading up to the event (Christmas/ Birthday). Instead of all sitting around the table for a roast dinner, you could have a buffet of everyone’s favourite food so you can all eat what you want, when you want and where you want!
Setting Boundaries: Prioritising Your Family's Needs
Family is important, and it’s always nice to meet up with friends, too. However, if having lots of people visiting your home or going out to visit others adds more stress, it might be necessary to set some boundaries. Plan ahead, let people know you are staying at home on specific dates and give a list of options for times that are convenient for you. Splitting events into smaller, low-key occasions can ensure quality time with loved ones without the chaos and busyness surrounding a specific event.
Adjusting to Change: Tips for Reducing Stress and Anxiety
Big surprises, lights, decorations, scents and different food can all contribute to sensory overload for neurodivergent individuals. Consider gradually adding decorations over a few weeks to help the children adjust to the change or keeping one room decoration-free so you or your children have somewhere to escape if things feel too overwhelming.
Understanding Money: Making it Real for Children
Unless you have lots of spare cash, setting boundaries around spending is important, too. For older children, it might help to give them a set amount of money and have them physically handle the change as they make purchases for themselves and others. This can help make understanding money more ‘real’ than buying online with a card.
Easing into Celebrations: Gradual and Controlled Gift-Giving
Uncertainty can increase anxiety, and having gifts on display that children are not allowed to open or touch can cause a lot of problems. Consider setting a new tradition of opening gifts as people give them to you or hiding some away and opening one a day before a special event to make it less overwhelming.
Managing Sensory Overload: Choosing Comfort over Style
Seasonal clothes can cause sensory overwhelm - too fluffy, scratchy, itchy, and uncomfortable! If you're also having parties and going out and about, it can be one thing too much on top of different smells and bright lights. Being comfortable is important - pyjamas and onesies are okay if they feel good! Perhaps explain to people in advance that you or your children may not be wearing that new party dress but want to meet up and feel comfortable. If you are hosting in your own house - you could even have a ‘dress in your cosy wear’ theme so everyone is included!
We wish you all a happy, low-demand celebration in a way that works for you and your family!
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